Wednesday, March 15, 2023

MidMonth Mirth Memo, March 2023

 

 
"Prepare for mirth,

for mirth becomes a feast."


-William Shakespeare


 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker, 

"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein         

www.allenklein.com

MARCH 2023
 

Flight Attendant Announcement of the Month:

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses...except for that gentleman over there."

 
Pho 
Photo of the Month:
 
 

Groaner of the Month:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time. As a result, it produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
Thus he was, a super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis


Sign of the Month:
 
 
 

Questions of the Month:

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?



Sign Placement of the Month:
 
 
 
  _______________________________

Artist of the Month:

FUN FOLIAGE 


 
 
Video of the Month:

PARTY POOPER?
 
  _______________________________
 
Book of the Month:
 
Being an author can be a lonely business. It is why I treasure comments from readers of how my books have influenced their life. Just heard from one such person who experienced a recent loss. She told me that, Embracing Life After Loss has been "the best and most helpful thing she has read for grief." She said that she often just flips opens the book and reads a page, "which always helps."

And that is exactly the way I meant for the book to be used
...open anywhere for comfort and inspiration.
 
  _______________________________
 

            Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo
every month?


 
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the
Free MIRTH MEMO

 

https://tinyurl.com/yb9939v7

 
  _______________________________
 
 
 
 




 


 


 
 
                         
 

 


                          
 


 

                             
   

 
 


 
 


 
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Wednesday, February 15, 2023

MIdMonth Mirth Memo, February 2023

 

 
"Prepare for mirth,

for mirth becomes a feast."


-William Shakespeare


 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker, 

"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein         

www.allenklein.com

FEBRUARY 2023
 

HAPPY ALLEN KLEIN'S DAY

(see below)
 

Jokes of the Month:

What did the French groundhog see on February 2nd?

His chateau. 
***
 
What do you say when someone dies between February 19 and March 20?

Rest in Pisces.
 


Life Lesson of the Month:
 
  
Definition of the Month:

Bernadette:
The act of torching a mortgage.


 
Sign of the Month:
 
 
 
Quote of the Month:

"Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into a home. 
—Dennis Miller 


Laugh of the Month:
 

  _______________________________
 
HAPPY ALLEN KLEIN'S DAY
 
Did you know that today is Allen Klein's Day?

Here's why:
  _______________________________
 
Video of the Month:

LAUGHTER ON THE TRAIN   
  _______________________________
 
Book of the Month:
 
Life getting too complicated?

This book might help.

 
THE JOY OF SIMPLICITY
Insights to Unclutter and Uncomplicate Your Life
 
  _______________________________
 

                Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo
every month?


 
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the
Free MIRTH MEMO

 

https://tinyurl.com/yb9939v7
 
  _______________________________
 
 
 
 




 


 


 
 
                         
 

 


                          
 


 

                             
   

 
 


 
 


 
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Sunday, January 15, 2023

MidMonth Mirth Memo, January 2023

 

 
"Prepare for mirth,

for mirth becomes a feast."


-William Shakespeare


 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker, 

"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein         

www.allenklein.com

JANUARY 2023

 

First Joke of the Month:

I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

Can you do both at the same time?
 
Sure. Grandpa stopped snoring.



Advice of the Month:


Airplane Announcement of the Month:
  

Captain: "The weather ahead is good. We should have a smooth and uneventful flight. So sit back and relax....OH, MY GOD!"

 
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said,“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier." 
 
"While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" 


A passenger in coach yelled out,“That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!”



Second Joke of the Month:
 
 








"


















Man: When is your birthday?

Woman: March 1st.

 
Man walks back and forth a few seconds.

Man: O.K., now tell me when's your birthday.


Mistake of the Month:

 


Third Joke of the Month:

Back in the day, excessive use of commas was considered a serious crime.
 
It usually resulted in a long sentence.



Bargain of the Month:
 
 
  _______________________________


Song of the Month:

"Are You Having Any Fun?"
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68gnYCznvYs
 
  _______________________________
 
 
Meeting of the Month
 
Sometimes the beginning of the year is a sad time when we think about those who are no longer with us. Beginning Wednesday, January 18th, a dozen speakers will be part of a FREE summit to help you ease your loss.
 
Sign up here:
My session will be based on my book, 
Embracing Life After Loss.
It will show you how to go from loss to laughter.
 

 
  _______________________________

Still Available...Until the End of the Month

My publisher, Mango, is offering a whopping 30% discount on all my books they publish. Offer good until the end of January. 

https://mango.bz/books/allen-klein-240-a

Grab a copy for yourself
or as a gift for someone else.



 

  _______________________________
 
                
Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo every month?

 
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the
Free MIRTH MEMO

 

https://tinyurl.com/yb9939v7

  _______________________________
 
 
 




 


 


 
 
                         
 

 


                          
 


 

                             
   

 
 


 
 


 
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Tuesday, November 15, 2022

MidMonth Mirth Memo, November 2022

 

 
"Prepare for mirth,

for mirth becomes a feast."


-William Shakespeare


 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker, 

"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein         

www.allenklein.com

NOVEMBER 2022
 

Food Suggestion of the Month:

 
                         
 

Predicament of the Month:
I can't pickup my dog's prescription because I don't know her date of birth. The pharmacist won't tell me because of patient privacy. And she won't tell me because she is a dog.

 
Funny Face of the Month:
 

                          
 

Questions of the Month:
-Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know what time it is, but don't point to their behinds when they want to know where the bathroom is?

-Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours?   

-Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?


Advice of the Month:

 
                             
                         

Groaner for the Month:
 
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one photo, because when you've seen Juan you've seen Amal. 


 
Misspelled Sign of the Month:
 

                            

Lesson of the Month: 

Barbie didn't give me a poor body image. Barbie taught me that you can't reattach a head once it's removed from a body.
 
  _______________________________

Fun Fotos of the Month:
 

 
  _______________________________
 

Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo every month?

 
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the
Free MIRTH MEMO

 

https://tinyurl.com/yb9939v7

  _______________________________

In honor of November's 
National Hospice and Palliative Care Month



Book of the Month


EMBRACING LIFE AFTER LOSS:

A Gentle Guide for Growing Through Grief  

 
When my wife died at the age of 34, I was devastated. I sought a therapist who told me that life was tough. I already knew that; I fired him. I read grief books to ease my loss. The authors told me about all the bad things I might experience—lack of appetite, loss of sleep, feeling depressed. I stopped reading.

What I needed was a book that inspired me, that lifted me up, that comforted me and was easy to read. Not finding that, I wrote my own. That book, Learning to Laugh When You Feel Like Crying, is now available here:

 
https://www.amazon.com/Embracing-Life-After-Loss-Growing/dp/1642500062/?_


 
 

One Reader’s Comment
"Allen's book resonated deeply in me. Not only did it help on an emotional level, but there were many practical, real life, suggestions. It's the kind of book that you can pick up and read one page, or many, and find healing benefits. A good book to keep on a coffee table or nightstand for many years after the grief journey begins…. Thanks Allen for contributing to the healing of many."




 
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Saturday, October 15, 2022

MidMonth Mirth Memo, October 2022

 

 
"Prepare for mirth,

for mirth becomes a feast."


-William Shakespeare


 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker, 

"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein         

www.allenklein.com

OCTOBER 2022

 

List of the Month: 

The three hardest things to say:
1- I was wrong.
2- I need help.
3- Worcestershire Sauce



Fashion Inspiration of the Month:

                         
 

Post of the Month:
Someone posted that they had just baked some synonym buns.
I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar used to make?
Now I'm blocked. 

 

Bathroom Signs of the Month:

                          
 

Questions of the Month:
-If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
-Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?
-What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?


Road Signs of the Month:

                             
                         
 
  
Groaner for the Month:
 
The walk from my house to the bar is 5 minutes. The walk from the bar to my house is 35 minutes. The difference is staggering.


 
Funny Face of the Month:

                            


Advice of the Month: 

Confuse your doctor. Put on rubber gloves at the same time he/she does.
 
  _______________________________

Machine of the Month:

The Lunch Feeder
 

 
  _______________________________
 

Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo every month?

 
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the
Free MIRTH MEMO

 

https://tinyurl.com/yb9939v7

  _______________________________

Books of the Month: 


LIMITED TIME OFFER 

200 Therapeutic-Related Humor & Laughter Books  

 
 
As the author of the best-selling book,
The Healing Power of Humor, I have been collecting books related to the subject for over thirty-five years.

I'm now divesting of them. 
If you are interested in seeing the list, email 
humor@allenklein.com

Many books are autographed,
some out-of-print,
a few are vintage.
Most are at a very low price.



P.S.: The research category has items not available anywhere else.



 
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