Happy Allen Klein's Day

            Several year’s ago, I received an email from someone I had never met before. I almost didn’t open it because I didn’t recognize the address. Then, I nearly deleted it because I thought it was one of those spam emails from Nigeria. You know the kind: All I had to do was send them money, and they would transfer millions into my bank account.   
            I was especially skeptical because the first sentence read: “I’m just writing to inform you that my girlfriend and I have named a holiday after you.”  Sure, I thought. And how much will that cost me? But I read on:

“I’m hoping that you won’t be offended as it is a very nice holiday, one that symbolizes the love that we have for each other. It’s just that the day is named after you, nothing more.”

I get lots of loony email. Most are annoying but this one sounded intriguing, so I kept reading:

“Allow me to explain. My girlfriend and I work together in a business with very long hours. On our first Valentine’s Day together, we worked past midnight, and so missed the holiday. Rather than get depressed, we decided that from then on, we would celebrate the next day (February 15^th) as “Allen Klein’s Day.”

How could I not read further after being chosen for such an honor?

“Yes, I know it is sort of a pun—perhaps the lowest form of humor—but it was a pun between us, and we don’t mind laughing at puns in private. Go ahead, say the words out loud, ‘Valentine’s Day’, ‘Allen Klein’s Day.’  Get it?”

“Anyway, as the holiday named in your honor is fast approaching, I thought I’d do a quick web search to find out the true identity of its patron. And, as luck would have it, you happened to be the first—and therefore in my book, only—Allen Klein I found.”

“Honestly, sir, I know the whole thing is a bit strange, but I just figured you had a right to know if a holiday had your name on it. I wanted you to be privy to the fact that come February 15^th, two young lovers—complete strangers to you—will kiss over candlelight, raise a glass, and toast in all sincere sweetness to each other: ‘Happy Allen Klein’s Day.’”