Saturday, December 15, 2018

MidMonth Mirth Memo, December 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                DECEMBER 2018                                         

ADVICE OF THE MONTH: 
"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." 

-Johnny Carson


QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:                                                                                       
Q: What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?

A: A meltdown
.

-Kelly Epperson Simmons


Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic 

-Anonymous

Q:What illness would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations?
A: Tinselitis.

-Anonymous

JOKE OF THE MONTH:
One Christmas, my grandfather gave me a box of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of Band-Aids and said, "You two share."

-Steven Wright

 


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GIFTS OF THE MONTH
Give the gift that keeps on giving all year long.
Give a book of inspiring, uplifting and motivational quotations.
http://www.allenklein.com/books.htm
Copyright © 2018 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Thanksgiving: A Cornucopia of Gratitude



by 
Allen Klein

In addition to my other books, I am the author of a number of uplifting and motivational quotation books. I like quotations because they often remind us, with succinct words, about important matters.

The quotations below are a small selection from one of my books, Change Your Life!: A Little Book of Big Ideas. I hope you enjoy them and perhaps use some at your Thanksgiving dinner to remind everyone around the table to be grateful for all they have in their life.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. 
Have you used one to say "thank you”?
WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD 

If the only prayer you say in your whole
life is “Thank you,” that would suffice.
MEISTER ECKHART 

Appreciation is like an insurance policy. 
It has to be renewed every now and then.
DAVE MCINTYRE  

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel
as free to delight in whatever remains to them?
ROSE FITZGERALD KENNEDY 

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up,
snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as
bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.
JOHN RUSKIN 

Not being beautiful was the true blessing. . . .
Not being beautiful forced me to develop my inner
resources.  The pretty girl has a handicap to overcome.
GOLDA MEIR 

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.
KEN KEYES, JR. 

Health is . . . a blessing that money cannot buy.
IZAAK WALTON

Count your blessings, not your crosses,
Count your gains, not your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes,
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your health, not your wealth.
OLD PROVERB

He who limps still walks.
STANISLAW LEC 

Too many people miss the silver lining
because they're expecting gold.
MAURICE SETTER 

If you count all your assets,
you always show a profit.
ROBERT QUILLEN 

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it
is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD  

*****

Excepts from
Change Your Life!: A Little Book of Big Ideas

*****

I am grateful for having the opportunity to march in  
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2013.













Thursday, November 15, 2018

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, November 2018





"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                NOVEMBER 2018                                         
JOKE OF THE MONTH:
A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says, "Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don't come out the way we meant them to?"
The psychiatrist replies, "You mean Freudian slips?"
"Exactly. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my husband, and I meant to say, "Honey, could you please pass the salt," but instead I said, "You damn fool, you ruined my life."


QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:                                                                                       
Q: 
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age.

ONE-LINER OF THE MONTH: 
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
—Demetri Martin






Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo every month?
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the Free MIRTH MEMO:  

BOOK OF THE MONTH:
The one book you need to get through the hectic holiday season:

YOU CAN'T RUIN MY DAY:
50 Wake-Up Calls to Turn Any Situation Around


http://www.allenklein.com/ruin_day.htm

"If you want more joy and less stress in your life, this book is a great companion"
—Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestsellng author
Copyright © 2018 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Can One Quotation Change Your Life?


by
Allen Klein, MA, CSP

When Dale Carnegie wrote, “When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us…Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us…and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our days and nights into a hellish turmoil,” he probably never realized how those words would change someone’s life.

But it did. I know because of a letter that I got from a woman after she read that quotation in one of my books. The letter began:                                                              

“You’ll never know how your book has impacted my life. First of all let me say I’m 67-years-old, and at age 12 was violently raped twice. Never told anyone, but I haunted me for 55-years…I was angry and full of rage.

I keep this quote [“When we hate our enemies…”] taped to my kitchen cabinet  so I see it everyday. I’ve taken my power back, and it has changed my life.”


That letter is only one of several that I’ve received about the impact a single quotation has made in someone’s life. I’ll share other stories in future blogs.