My Funny Valentine

10 of the most amusing quotations about love from my recent book, Words of Love: Quotations from the Heart.

 

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.

-Judith Viorst

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

-Lily Tomlin

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

-Woody Allen

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.

-Fran Lebowitz

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

-Tim Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

-Woody Allen

Teenagers don’t know what love is. They have mixed up ideas. They go for a drive, and the boy runs out of gas, and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn’t love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room, and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That’s love.

-Norm Crosby

A boy's love comes from a full heart; a man's is more often the result of a full stomach..

-Jerome K. Jerome

“Love, shmove,” Papa used to say, “I love blintzes; Did I marry one?”

-Sam Levenson

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring, and to this day, she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside—Made in Taiwan!

-Leopold Fetchner

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