The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
www.allenklein.com
MAY 2021
Names of the Month:
A psychiatrist and a proctologist opened a practice together. Not knowing what to call it, they put an ad in the paper seeking a name for their new business. Some suggestions were: * Minds and Behinds * Nuts and Butts * Loons and Moons The winner: Odds & Ends
—BoulderTherapist.com
Signs of the Month:
Court Comments of the Month: ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan!
Tweet of the Month: "You cannot glue a tomato back together with tomato paste. Believe me. I've tried."
The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
www.allenklein.com
APRIL 2021
Anecdote of the Month:
Seeing a male dog sniffing a female dog, the young daughter of Laurence Olivier asked Noël Coward what they were doing. Coward replied, "The one in front has suddenly gone blind and the other one has very kindly offered to push him."
Signs of the Month:
Quote of the Month: "You know there's a problem when you realize that out of the three Rs, only one begins with an R."
THE AWE FACTOR Wednesdays, April 14 thru May 12. Five one-hour sessions. 5:00-6:00 PM PDT /8:00-9:00 PM EDT FOUR SESSIONS REMAIN / SIGN-UPS STILL AVAILABLE https://unitysf.com/calendar/the-awe-factor/
DESCRIPTION: With a sprinkling of the spiritual, the scientific, and inspirational awe-inspiring stories, you will learn what awe is and why it can help you to be happier and healthier. In addition, you will discover awe-awakening tools, tips, and techniques to help you become more aware of, and increase, the awe and wonder in your life. The Awe Factor will show you, as the subtitle states, how a little bit of wonder can make a big difference in your life.
The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
www.allenklein.com
MARCH 2021
Groaners of the Month:
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
eBay is useless. I looked up lighters and all they had was 547 matches.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Picture of the Month: What happens when too many trees are cut down.
Tweet of the Month: I sleep with a knife under my pillow. You never know when someone is going to break in and give you a cake.
—@shariv67
Headline of the Month: "Netflix Misses Subscriber Mark"
THE AWE FACTOR Wednesdays, April 14 thru May 12. Five one-hour sessions. 5:00-6:00 PM PDT Contact mmm@allenklein.com for cost & more information:
DESCRIPTION: With a sprinkling of the spiritual, the scientific, and inspirational awe-inspiring stories, you will learn what awe is and why it can help you to be happier and healthier. In addition, you will discover awe-awakening tools, tips, and techniques to help you become more aware of, and increase, the awe and wonder in your life. The Awe Factor will show you, as the subtitle states, how a little bit of wonder can make a big difference in your life.
The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
www.allenklein.com
FEBRUARY 2021
Joke of the Month: Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
Question of the Month: What do you put in a toaster?
(Scroll down to see answer)
Answer: "Bread." If you said "toast" your brain is already fried and may even over-heat. You need a break. Go in the kitchen and make yourself some tea and bread.
Sign of the Times:
Post of the Month: A home-schooling mom posted that her kid called her on the phone from his room and told her he missed the bus and won't be in school today.
Idea of the Month: Yesterday my significant other thought they saw a cockroach in the kitchen. They sprayed and cleaned everything. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
www.allenklein.com
DECEMBER 2020
First Question of the Month: 2020 as a math-word problem: "If you're going down a river at 3 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?"
Anonymous
Mask of the Month:
Cookie of the Month:
Second Question of the Month:
Which page of the Bible explains how to turn water into wine?
(Just asking for a friend.)
Photo of the Month:
Third Question of the Month: "Wanna bet that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?'"
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