Friday, May 3, 2013

Condoms and Comedy

Humor has a way of popping up when we least expect it. A friend of mine, who attended a party I recently gave to celebrate my Birthday, beautifully illustrated that with a story of what happened after the party. She told me:

At one point during the party, someone jokingly handed me a foil wrapped condom.  Assuming I had missed the announcement  (we were going to blow up balloons? Party favors? ) I accepted it, but was miles from my purse, so did what any resourceful gal would do, and stuck it in “the vault” i.e. my bra.

On the way home, I decided to swing by the YMCA for some quick pool aerobics.  I knew I’d stand out in my party attire– a silk kimono and gold sequin tank top which was a bit over the top for the Y— so I doffed the kimono and threw a black sweater over my sparkly tank.  When I got to the locker room about 6:00 p.m. it was packed with moms and little girls toweling off before trekking home. Completely forgetting my attire, I threw off the black sweater and immediately one little girl exclaimed "Look mommy, a Princess!”  The setting sun caught the sequins and they shimmered beautifully.  Everyone smiled and giggled and proceeded to get dressed. 

Things were fine until another little girl suddenly exclaimed, “Look mama, she has candy!”  Now what adult would bring candy to a locker room to give to little children?  A definite no-no.  Immediately heads snapped like tree branches in an ice storm.  I followed everyone’s gaze to the source, only to discover – it was me.  What?  Huh?  I didn’t have any candy. I looked down, and there on my right breast, in full view was a bright purple foil packet with the word “Trojan” in big white letters.

In a nanosecond, the room turned from friendly to frigid.  Mothers turned their backs, and instructed their children not to look. Some mother’s glares bore holes into my skull.  Yikes!   I turned to one gal who appeared to be about my age.  I knew she’d understand events are rarely what they seem, and there is often a logical explanation for everything. 

“Uh. I was just at a gentleman’s 75th birthday party, and….”  I could see the truth was not going to help in this situation. I was doomed, and the realization must have registered on my face.  The woman gave me a steady gaze and in a perfect Bea Arthur/Maude voice and attitude said “No need to explain, ‘Princess.’ I think we have the picture.”  O….M….G.  As the wise sage Confucius once observed “Ho….Lee….. Chit!” 

So yes, your birthday was memorable in more ways than one.  These Lucille Ball-like moments happen to me more often than I care to admit.  What can I say?  Happy Birthday.

The moral of the story, if there is one, is that humor is all around us every day, everywhere. So keep your eyes and ears open for it. You never know when humor’s jolly head will pop up.

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