Thursday, August 15, 2019

MidMonth Mirth Memo, SPECIAL EDITION, August 2019


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

AUGUST 2019
SPECIAL EDITION 

Today is the launch of 
THE LIGHTEN UP BOOK:
Affirmations and Insights to Inspire Health and Happiness 

To celebrate the occasion,
please find a sampling of a dozen quotations from the book.
ENJOY! 


* * *
Comedy is in my blood. Frankly, I wish it were in my act!
Rodney Dangerfield


* * * 
Tragedy and comedy are but two aspects of what is real,
and whether we see the tragic or the humorous is a matter of perspective.
 Arnold Beisser


* * * 
 Foolishness, like charity, begins at home.
Harvey Mindess


* * * 
 I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself
…and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.
Shirley MacLaine


* * * 
 Some tickling or telling funny stories in bed can make sex more interesting.
“Dr. Ruth” Westheimer


* * * 
 To thrive in life you need three bones.
A wishbone.
A backbone.
                And a funny bone.             
Reba McEntire


* * * 
 Grin when you bear it—it’s the only way.
Dolly Parton


* * * 
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns


* * * 
 When I’m happy I feel like crying, but when I’m sad I don’t feel like laughing.
I think it’s better to be happy. Then you get two feelings for the price of one.
Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann


* * * 
 If God told you exactly what it was you were to do,
you would be happy doing it no matter what it was.
What you’re doing is what God wants you to do. Be happy.
Werner Erhard


* * * 
 We’re only young once, but with humor, we can be immature forever.
Art Gliner


* * * 
 “On with the dance, let joy be unconfined” is my motto,
whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine.
Mark Twain


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Be the first on your block to order 
THE LIGHTEN UP BOOK
https://tinyurl.com/yyp9v44f

Monday, July 22, 2019

5 You-Can-Do-It Steps to Make Your Dreams Come True


One of the best, and perhaps simplest, ways of getting more of what you want in life is to set your intentions on what that is.

In my TEDx talk on Intention (http://tinyurl.com/z4hfsx5), I talked about how I found the perfect publisher, got to march in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City, and even got to do that TEDx talk because of my intentions to do those things.

I also shared the five ways to harness the power of intention and how they can help you get more of what you want. They are:
            1- Be clear about what you want. If you don’t know what that is, how are you going to get it.
            2- Put it in writing. Seeing what you want on paper is documenting what you are seeking.
            3- You don’t have to know how it will happen. Just put it out in the universe and see what happens.
            4- You can’t just think about what you want. You need to start doing things that will help you achieve your goals.
            5- Lighten up. Getting too serious about anything gets in the way of your manifesting them.

Although I didn’t provide this example in my TEDx talk, writing down the exact kind of house I wanted got me a near perfect match.

When I was looking for a second home, I gave the real estate agent a list of thirty items I was seeking in a house. He found one that had 28 of those things. I’m convinced that it was because I was very clear of what I wanted, wrote what that was down, put it out in the
universe, and enlisted help, a real estate agent,  to find it.

How will you manifest what you want?

P.S.: To help you stay positive while pursuing your goals, take a look at my latest book:
Positive Thoughts for Troubling Times


Sunday, June 16, 2019

MidMonth Mirth Memo, June 2019


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                            JUNE 2019

SPECIAL FATHER'S DAY EDITION

A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the lion cage, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.
“Daddy, if the lion got out and ate you up…”
“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.
“ …Which bus would I take home?”

 

* * *

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”
“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”
A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”
“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”
A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”
“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.
“I work for 7 Up!”

* * * 

Jason: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
Jimmy: Beats me.
Jason: A POPsicle!

* * * 

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad

 

* * *   

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
Eleven-years-old and he still doesn't know my name is Michael.
  


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SUMMER READING FOR THE MONTH 


POSITIVE THOUGHTS FOR TROUBLING TIMES:
A Renew-Your-Spirit Guide

The prefect carry-in-your purse-or-pocket reminder to help you keep
your cool during hot summer months.
The power thoughts in this book will provide you with new ways
to view the trials and tribulations of summer travel
or other annoying situations.

Available on Amazon in hard copy and Kindle
https://tinyurl.com/y38pcguj
Copyright © 2019 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, May 2019


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                            MAY 2019
TWEET OF THE MONTH:

I ordered a bed from IKEA. They sent me a tree trunk and a saw.

@eileencurtright


CONVERSATION OF THE MONTH:

MITCH: The same bike tries to run me down every single day.
MOE: Sounds like a vicious cycle. 

-AARP Bulletin


GREETING CARDS OF THE MONTH: 
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) Almost lifelike!

Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) What was I thinking?

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday..
.
(Inside card) So we're having you put to sleep.
    


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BOOK OF THE MONTH 

*** Especially for therapists, teachers, counselors, coaches and clergy ***

L.A.U.G.H.: 
Using Humor and Play to Help Clients Cope with Stress, Anger, Frustration, and more.
Includes Reproducible Book and CD

60 Therapeutic, Perspective-Building, Life-Changing Activities

Available on Amazon
https://tinyurl.com/y3hsnt7u
Copyright © 2019 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Friday, March 15, 2019

MidMonth Mirth Memo, March 2019



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com
 

                            MARCH 2019
                        SPECIAL EDITION
                            

To celebrate the publication of EMBRACING LIFE AFTER LOSS today,
this edition of The MidMonth Mirth Memo
consists solely of humor related to death and dying
.
 


Rabbis do a lot of work on the phone. We receive calls from people with questions. One woman called me: “Rabbi, how long after my husband’s funeral do I have to wait before I can start dating again?” At that point, there was a knock at my door. I said, “Just a minute.” She said, “Thank you,” and hung up.

-Rabbi Robert Alper

***

A young preacher without much experience was conducting his very first funeral. He gestured to the body lying in the coffin and then declared: “What we have here is only the shell. The nut is already gone." 

***

A man had a dog he really loved a lot. He had to go out of town and left the dog with his brother who he told, “Please take very good care of this dog; she means an awful lot to me.” Three days later he called to check out how the dog was doing. The brother told him, “The dog is dead.” The man said, “You know how much I loved that dog. How could you be so insensitive? Couldn’t you have said the dog climbed up on the roof chasing a cat, and it slipped and broke its leg, and an infection set in, and it got worse. . .You know, break it to me gently, not so abrupt. "Now, how’s Mama?”   
“Well, she was up on the roof. . .”

***

A father had two sons. One went to the big city, where he became a wealthy businessman. The other remained in the home town. When their father passed away, the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral, but he told his brother to spare no expense, since he would pay all costs. Shortly thereafter, the wealthy son received an invoice from the funeral director, which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $77. Curious about this little item, he wrote his brother and asked the reason for the monthly charge.   
“You told me that we should spare no expense,” his brother wrote back. “Since you said Dad would like to go in style, we rented him a tuxedo.”     

-Anonymous

***

“Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”

-Anonymous

 


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BOOK OF THE MONTH

EMBRACING LIFE AFTER LOSS:
A Gentle Guide for Growing Through Grief

The book shows readers how to go from loss to laughter in five stages…
losing, learning, letting go, living and finally laughing.


Available on Amazon in hard copy and Audible
http://tinyurl.com/yymnclf3
Copyright © 2019 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Tuesday, January 15, 2019

MidMonth Mirth Memo, January 2019


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                          JANUARY 2019                                         

PUN OF THE MONTH:
A string walks into a bar. It goes up to get a drink and the bartender says, “We don’t serve strings here.” So the string ties himself in a number of loops and then goes up to the bar again. The bartender says, “I told you, we don't serve strings here. Uh . . . are you a string?” And the string answers, “No, I’m a frayed knot.” 



QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:                                                 Q: Did you hear about the new restaurant chain called Karma?
A:  There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.


Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I’m not sure, but their flag is a big plus.

 

Q: Why did the chicken go to the séance?
A: To get to the other side. 

 

QUOTE OF THE MONTH:                                                             "A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."      -Steven Wright


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ARTICLE OF THE MONTH
"Living with a ravenous thirst for life"

https://tinyurl.com/y8ggampw
Copyright © 2019 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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