Friday, March 15, 2019

MidMonth Mirth Memo, March 2019



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com
 

                            MARCH 2019
                        SPECIAL EDITION
                            

To celebrate the publication of EMBRACING LIFE AFTER LOSS today,
this edition of The MidMonth Mirth Memo
consists solely of humor related to death and dying
.
 


Rabbis do a lot of work on the phone. We receive calls from people with questions. One woman called me: “Rabbi, how long after my husband’s funeral do I have to wait before I can start dating again?” At that point, there was a knock at my door. I said, “Just a minute.” She said, “Thank you,” and hung up.

-Rabbi Robert Alper

***

A young preacher without much experience was conducting his very first funeral. He gestured to the body lying in the coffin and then declared: “What we have here is only the shell. The nut is already gone." 

***

A man had a dog he really loved a lot. He had to go out of town and left the dog with his brother who he told, “Please take very good care of this dog; she means an awful lot to me.” Three days later he called to check out how the dog was doing. The brother told him, “The dog is dead.” The man said, “You know how much I loved that dog. How could you be so insensitive? Couldn’t you have said the dog climbed up on the roof chasing a cat, and it slipped and broke its leg, and an infection set in, and it got worse. . .You know, break it to me gently, not so abrupt. "Now, how’s Mama?”   
“Well, she was up on the roof. . .”

***

A father had two sons. One went to the big city, where he became a wealthy businessman. The other remained in the home town. When their father passed away, the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral, but he told his brother to spare no expense, since he would pay all costs. Shortly thereafter, the wealthy son received an invoice from the funeral director, which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $77. Curious about this little item, he wrote his brother and asked the reason for the monthly charge.   
“You told me that we should spare no expense,” his brother wrote back. “Since you said Dad would like to go in style, we rented him a tuxedo.”     

-Anonymous

***

“Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”

-Anonymous

 


Wanna get the MidMonth Mirth Memo every month?
SUBSCRIBE yourself or a friend to the Free MIRTH MEMO:  

BOOK OF THE MONTH

EMBRACING LIFE AFTER LOSS:
A Gentle Guide for Growing Through Grief

The book shows readers how to go from loss to laughter in five stages…
losing, learning, letting go, living and finally laughing.


Available on Amazon in hard copy and Audible
http://tinyurl.com/yymnclf3
Copyright © 2019 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Tuesday, January 15, 2019

MidMonth Mirth Memo, January 2019


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                          JANUARY 2019                                         

PUN OF THE MONTH:
A string walks into a bar. It goes up to get a drink and the bartender says, “We don’t serve strings here.” So the string ties himself in a number of loops and then goes up to the bar again. The bartender says, “I told you, we don't serve strings here. Uh . . . are you a string?” And the string answers, “No, I’m a frayed knot.” 



QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:                                                 Q: Did you hear about the new restaurant chain called Karma?
A:  There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.


Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I’m not sure, but their flag is a big plus.

 

Q: Why did the chicken go to the séance?
A: To get to the other side. 

 

QUOTE OF THE MONTH:                                                             "A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."      -Steven Wright


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ARTICLE OF THE MONTH
"Living with a ravenous thirst for life"

https://tinyurl.com/y8ggampw
Copyright © 2019 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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