Thursday, February 15, 2018

MidMonth Mirth Memo, February 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                FEBRUARY 2018                                             

JOKE OF THE MONTH:                                                                 
The old man awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The old man didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly, then asked, "All right, buddy, what's your name?"
"Fred," the old man moaned.
"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied;
"The balcony".


DIALOGUE OF THE MONTH: 
MARY: Were you surprised to find out that you were color-blind?              FRANK: I'll say! The diagnosis came completely out of the yellow.

 

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:                                                    "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
                                         -Comedian, Steven Wright


BOOK OF THE MONTH: 
WORDS OF LOVE
Quotations from the Heart

Available in paperback, Kindle, or audio.  
https://tinyurl.com/ybyuaxs7
 

WORDS OF LOVE is filled with best things ever said on matters of the heart.
A veritable book of love, this collection of over 500 bons mots features the
wit, wisdom and insight of everyone from Sophocles to Cher.

This volume of tender quotes and upbeat witticisms reminds us daily of our most powerful emotion.
These words will touch your heart, bring a smile to your face and make you want to share the love.
  



BLOG OF THE MONTH: 
"Five Things Kids Can Teach Us About Being Happy"
https://bottomlineinc.com/blogs/60-seconds-of-happy/five-things-kids-can-teach-us-about-being-happy





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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Top Ten Quotations about What Love Is



Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.
Marianne Williamson

Love is an energy—it can neither be created nor destroyed.
It just is and always will be, giving meaning to life and direction to goodness. . . .  Love will never die
Bryce Courtney

Without love our life is…a ship without a rudder . . .
like a body without a soul.
Sholom Aleichem

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Eva Gabor

Love is not blind—it sees more, not less. But because it sees more,
it is willing to see less.
Julius Gorden

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open, and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker

Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love
you will find that you are left holding only yourself.
Leo Buscaglia

Love is a fire.  But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Judith Viorst

Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary,
yet no one can agree on what it is. 
Diane Ackerman


Monday, January 15, 2018

MidMonth Mirth Memo January 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

JANUARY 2018 

AMUSING STORY OF THE MONTH:                                                                                                                                  While traveling on a city bus recently, a passenger flashed her transfer to the driver and quickly ran to the back.
“Lady,” yelled the driver, “that transfer is no good. It’s from yesterday.”
The woman yelled back, “I know. That’s how long I’ve been waiting for this bus!”


KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS OF THE MONTH:  
Scene: A sixth-grade class.
Teacher: What are the harmful environmental effect of oil on fish?
Student: When my mom opened a can of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead. 

 

QUESTION OF THE MONTH:Why do I have to press "one" for English when they are just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?



BOOK OF THE MONTH: 

Start your year on a high note...
CHANGE YOUR LIFE:
A Little Book of Big Ideas
Available in paperback, Kindle, or audio.  
https://tinyurl.com/y96kpprn


Kipling once said that words are "the most powerful drug used by mankind" ―
the words in this book are the prescription you need to renew your life.
  



BLOG OF THE MONTH: 
"My All-Time Favorite Sayings about Happiness"
 https://tinyurl.com/yc8rolet



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Friday, December 15, 2017

MidMonth Mirth Memo: December 2017

"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

DECEMBER 2017 

LAUGH OF THE MONTH:                                                           I was singing along with the radio as it played the Beatles song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." As I sang the lyric "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes," my husband interrupted.  "Is that what he's singing?" he asked. "All these years, I thought it was 'the girl with colitis goes by.'"   

                                               -Lynette Harrell, Dolores, Colorado, in Reader's Digest 11/17


FACEBOOK FUNNY OF THE MONTH:

There's a big paddle sale at the local boat store.
It's quite an oar deal.
-Karl W. Palachuk
 
 
JOKE OF THE MONTH:

I walked by a recored store. The sign in the front said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized.
-Mitch Hedberg
 
*****
 
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BLOG OF THE MONTH: 
 
10 Ways to be Happier This Holiday Season
 

 




 
Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
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Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Mid-Month Mirth Memo; November 2017


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

NOVEMBER 2017 

PUN OF THE MONTH:                                                    Me and my buddies at the gun club often go to the cheese shop just to shoot the Bries.

                                                        -mirror.co.uk

FACEBOOK FUNNIES OF THE MONTH:

- My friend just got crushed by a pile of books. He’s only got his shelf to blame.

- Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

- A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

-Kelly Epperson Simmons

ADVICE OF THE MONTH:

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out. It could spell disaster.
-rd.com
*****
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FUN & FUNNY GIFTS OF THE MONTH:

Immortalize Your Pet: https://petvignettes.com/

   The Experience Tube: https://www.experiencetube.com/


Grow Down: https://tinyurl.com/ycg6jfm5
Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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