Tuesday, November 15, 2016

MidMonth Mirth Memo, November 2016


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


Is this email not displaying correctly?
View it in your browser.
 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

NOVEMBER 2016


MEDICAL ADVICE OF THE MONTH:
"I finally have a dental plan. I chew on the other side." —Janine DiTullio

MARRIAGE ADVICE OF THE MONTH:
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." —attributed to Will Ferrell
HOLIDAY ADVICE OF THE MONTH:
One Thanksgiving a woman wanted to impress her friends with an elaborate dinner. She cooked all day and hired someone to help serve the meal. All went well until the main course. As the hired help was bringing in the turkey, the kitchen door hit them from behind and the turkey flew across the floor. The woman froze, regained her composure, then commanded, "Dear, don't just stand there. Pick up the turkey, go in the kitchen, and get the other one!"

BOOK OF THE MONTH:
WORDS OF LOVE: Quotations from the Heart (Viva Editions)
http://www.allenklein.com/words-of-love.htm
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

Add us to your address book
Email Marketing Powered by MailChimp

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Three Ways to Not Let the Elections Get You Down



1- REFRAME TO REMAIN SANE
            We see everything through our own eyes. We are the ones who give a meaning to everything. Therefore, how you interpret a situation may be very different than the way someone else sees the same situation.
            Being stuck in traffic, for example, may be an unpleasant experience for someone who will be late for an important meeting or, on the other hand, a godsend for someone who didn’t want to go to that meeting anyhow.
            So no matter how upset you may feel about the election process or the candidates, you can reframe that. To do so, ask yourself one or more of these questions.
     - Does getting upset/angry serve me?                                                                                                - Does my being upset/angry bring me more or less joy into my life                                                  - What can I learn from my being upset/anger?

2- LEARN TO FORGIVE
            One powerful way to counteract the anger you maybe having toward the candidates is through forgiveness. They are doing a tough job…a job that probably most of us would not want. They are doing the best the can under some very difficult circumstances. They are being criticized for their beliefs and for things they may, or may not, have done in the past.
            Getting angry at the election process or what the candidates are claiming is only adding negativity to the situation. If you strongly believe in one candidate or what they stand for, or if you don’t like the choices, don’t get angry. Instead, forgive the system and the candidates…get out and work to change that…and vote for what you want.
            And remember what Wayne Dyer, the author and self-help advocate once said, “In the scheme of things, what you do and whether you are angry or not will have all the impact of another glass of water being thrown over Niagara Falls. Whether you choose laughter or anger will not matter much—except that the former will fill your present moments with happiness, and the latter will waste them in misery.”


3- GIVE UP BEING RIGHT
Insisting that you are right, even if you are, will only cause you more confrontation and more stress. To ease that, you only need to ask yourself one question when right-or-wrong encounters arise.
         That simple but profound question comes from the book A Course in Miracle. Ask yourself:  “Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?”  Which one you choose, right or happy, will set the tone for what kind of day you will have.

         And finally, to counteract the upsets you may be having around the election, whenever you are feeling upset take the “You-Can’t-Ruin-My-Day” pledge. Raise your right hand and say out loud:
“Starting right now, I will take back my power
and not let anyone or anything ruin my day.
So help me Oprah Winfrey.”

*****
The ideas above are taken from the book, You Can’t Ruin My Day 
(Viva Editions, 2015) by Allen Klein http://tinyurl.com/hhwbgq4

Saturday, October 15, 2016

MidMonth Mirth Memo- October 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



Is this email not displaying correctly?
View it in your browser.
 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

OCTOBER 2016


QUESTION OF THE MONTH:
Q: How many Apple vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That's proprietary information. The answer is available from Apple on payment of a license fee.

QUOTATIONS OF THE MONTH:
"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall." —Eleanor Roosevelt

"Makeup can only make you look pretty on the outside, but it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup." —attributed to Audrey Hepburn

"I don't believe in reincarnation, and I didn't believe it when I was a hamster." —Shane Richie
TEDx TALK OF THE MONTH:
(Not so funny but very inspiring. I should know, I gave it.)

Create the world you want...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqPu52vWpJA
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

Add us to your address book
Email Marketing Powered by MailChimp

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, September 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



Is this email not displaying correctly?
View it in your browser.
 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

SEPTEMBER 2016


FUNNY COMMENTS FROM THE RECENT OLYMPICS:
Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:
My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.
-Jimmy Carter

LIGHTBULB JOKE OF THE MONTH:
How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in most of the way and another to give it a surprise twist at the end. *****

BOOK OF THE MONTH: 
Change Your Life! A Little Book of Big Ideas
Foreword by Jack Canfield  
Hardcover. 500 uplifting and inspiring quotations that have the potential to be life-changing.
http://tinyurl.com/z3xnmer
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

Add us to your address book
Email Marketing Powered by MailChimp

Monday, August 22, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, August 2016


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


Is this email not displaying correctly?
View it in your browser.
 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

AUGUST 2016

DID-YOU-KNOW QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:

Did You Know…

…that Charlie Chaplin  once entered a "Charlie Chaplin walk" contest… and came in 20th?

… that Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark?

…that Q-tips, which are primarily to clean inside ears, are sold in boxes that warn: "Do not insert inside of the ear canal”?


OFFICE HUMOR OF THE MONTH:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going. That person must be fired.
—Paul Dickson

You can name your own salary here. I call mine "Fred."
—Anonymous

I love working for myself; it's so empowering. Except when I call in sick. I always know when I'm lying.
—Rita Rudner

FUNNY QUOTATION OF THE MONTH: 
It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do. —Walter Winchell

*****

TEDx TALK of the MONTH: 
Create the world you want...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqPu52vWpJA
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

Add us to your address book
Email Marketing Powered by MailChimp

Friday, August 5, 2016

You Never Know How Your Words Touch Someone Else's Life

A colleague of mine from Australia posted the following on Facebook. It brought tears to my eyes because as a writer I never know how my words will change other people's lives.


Today I supported a friend as she said goodbye to her family home for the final time. Her mother passed away 8 months ago, the house was sold, the contents disposed of, settlement is at 1pm today. I stood back as my friend said goodbye to each room, together we made carpet angels (like snow angels but on the carpet) and touched taps and other fittings for the final time. There was a book on the floor in the master bedroom. I moved to pick it up and my friend said "No, leave it for now, Mr Klein must be the last to leave". I gave her my confused look, my friend said the author's name is Klein.

She told me how her father died 14 years ago and at the funeral someone had given her mother the book, it's titled "The Change Your Life Quote Book" (now re-titled "Change Your Life" A Little Book of Big Ideas"). She told me how it lived on her mother's bed side table and every morning her mother would pick it up and read a quote for the day. She would say "Good morning Col" her husband, and "Thank you Mr Klein" and at night another quote and "Thank you Mr Klein, Goodnight Col".

She said her mother never let the book leave the room, it lived on her bedside table. When it was time to leave the house there was one more goodbye to each room and then 'Mr Klein' was collected but before my friend left the master bedroom she said "Dad, it's time to go, but you know that, look after mum". And then she looked at the book, opened it to a random page and read this quote "I live by this credo, have a little laugh and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough," Red Skelton. Then she closed the book and said "Thank you Mr Klein, you always know the perfect saying".

We raided the garden one last time, not a bloom was left and then when we got to the car my friend handed me the book. It was only then that I saw that the author was Allen Klein, of San Francisco! I started the next sentence to my friend with the words "You are so not going to believe this......... I told her about you, about your connection with laughter and joy, our connection through AATH (Association of Applied & Therapeutic Humor) and AATH's conference at the Red Skelton centre, the author of the very quote she read and many many more connections, on and on.......

I did wonder if it was the same Allen Klein and then I saw this quote "As long as I have food and remote control, I'm happy" Margie Klein (author's mother).

At this moment I am the holder of the book. It will sit on my bookshelf until my friend is ready to have it back, so, as has been said twice a day for the past 14 years or so, or around 10,000 times or more - thank you Mr Klein!!


http://tinyurl.com/zoom6z3

Monday, July 25, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo July 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



Is this email not displaying correctly?
View it in your browser.
 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

JULY 2016

Q. & A. OF THE MONTH:

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. 
  Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A.. Keep it in the cow!

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.



GREAT NEWS OF THE MONTH: 
My TEDx talk in now on YouTube. Watch it to create the world you want.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqPu52vWpJA

P.S.- If you like it, share it.
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

Add us to your address book
Email Marketing Powered by MailChimp