Thursday, September 15, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, September 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

SEPTEMBER 2016


FUNNY COMMENTS FROM THE RECENT OLYMPICS:
Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:
My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.
-Jimmy Carter

LIGHTBULB JOKE OF THE MONTH:
How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in most of the way and another to give it a surprise twist at the end. *****

BOOK OF THE MONTH: 
Change Your Life! A Little Book of Big Ideas
Foreword by Jack Canfield  
Hardcover. 500 uplifting and inspiring quotations that have the potential to be life-changing.
http://tinyurl.com/z3xnmer
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

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Monday, August 22, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, August 2016


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

AUGUST 2016

DID-YOU-KNOW QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:

Did You Know…

…that Charlie Chaplin  once entered a "Charlie Chaplin walk" contest… and came in 20th?

… that Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark?

…that Q-tips, which are primarily to clean inside ears, are sold in boxes that warn: "Do not insert inside of the ear canal”?


OFFICE HUMOR OF THE MONTH:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going. That person must be fired.
—Paul Dickson

You can name your own salary here. I call mine "Fred."
—Anonymous

I love working for myself; it's so empowering. Except when I call in sick. I always know when I'm lying.
—Rita Rudner

FUNNY QUOTATION OF THE MONTH: 
It’s a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do. —Walter Winchell

*****

TEDx TALK of the MONTH: 
Create the world you want...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqPu52vWpJA
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Friday, August 5, 2016

You Never Know How Your Words Touch Someone Else's Life

A colleague of mine from Australia posted the following on Facebook. It brought tears to my eyes because as a writer I never know how my words will change other people's lives.


Today I supported a friend as she said goodbye to her family home for the final time. Her mother passed away 8 months ago, the house was sold, the contents disposed of, settlement is at 1pm today. I stood back as my friend said goodbye to each room, together we made carpet angels (like snow angels but on the carpet) and touched taps and other fittings for the final time. There was a book on the floor in the master bedroom. I moved to pick it up and my friend said "No, leave it for now, Mr Klein must be the last to leave". I gave her my confused look, my friend said the author's name is Klein.

She told me how her father died 14 years ago and at the funeral someone had given her mother the book, it's titled "The Change Your Life Quote Book" (now re-titled "Change Your Life" A Little Book of Big Ideas"). She told me how it lived on her mother's bed side table and every morning her mother would pick it up and read a quote for the day. She would say "Good morning Col" her husband, and "Thank you Mr Klein" and at night another quote and "Thank you Mr Klein, Goodnight Col".

She said her mother never let the book leave the room, it lived on her bedside table. When it was time to leave the house there was one more goodbye to each room and then 'Mr Klein' was collected but before my friend left the master bedroom she said "Dad, it's time to go, but you know that, look after mum". And then she looked at the book, opened it to a random page and read this quote "I live by this credo, have a little laugh and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough," Red Skelton. Then she closed the book and said "Thank you Mr Klein, you always know the perfect saying".

We raided the garden one last time, not a bloom was left and then when we got to the car my friend handed me the book. It was only then that I saw that the author was Allen Klein, of San Francisco! I started the next sentence to my friend with the words "You are so not going to believe this......... I told her about you, about your connection with laughter and joy, our connection through AATH (Association of Applied & Therapeutic Humor) and AATH's conference at the Red Skelton centre, the author of the very quote she read and many many more connections, on and on.......

I did wonder if it was the same Allen Klein and then I saw this quote "As long as I have food and remote control, I'm happy" Margie Klein (author's mother).

At this moment I am the holder of the book. It will sit on my bookshelf until my friend is ready to have it back, so, as has been said twice a day for the past 14 years or so, or around 10,000 times or more - thank you Mr Klein!!


http://tinyurl.com/zoom6z3

Monday, July 25, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo July 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

JULY 2016

Q. & A. OF THE MONTH:

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. 
  Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A.. Keep it in the cow!

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.



GREAT NEWS OF THE MONTH: 
My TEDx talk in now on YouTube. Watch it to create the world you want.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqPu52vWpJA

P.S.- If you like it, share it.
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

MidMonth Mirth Memo. June 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

JUNE 2016

FATHER'S DAY FUNNY OF THE MONTH:
Watching Frozen again with my daughter because we paid $19.99 to download it, so she's going to watch it every day until college.                      -Michael Ian Black, comedian

 

TRAVEL TIP OF THE MONTH:

Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"  -Rita Rudner, comedian                             
 

OBSERVATION OF THE MONTH:   
"What's with this weird custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow?" I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter. -Jerry Seinfeld, comedian    


ARTICLE OF THE MONTH:

http://www.jweekly.com/article/full/76443/when-jollytologist-says-have-a-nice-day-he-means-it
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

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Monday, May 16, 2016

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, May 2016


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

MAY 2016

INTERNET HUMOR OF THE MONTH:
Twitter to lay off 8% of its workforce, reduces character limit to 128.8

-@MICHAELIANBLACK

Apple has released 300 new emojis. Even ancient Egypitans were like, "Guys, you know you have words now, right?"

-@ELIZABAYNE

When breaking up with your first boyfriend/girlfriend, it helps to say, "You'll always be the answer to my online-banking security question.

-DANNYRICKER

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them.
-HARRY HILL


FUNNY TRANSLATIONS OF THE MONTH:
Names of American TV shows translated in foreign countries.

MAD MEN = "People in Manhattan" (Serbia) 
SIX FEET UNDER = "The Customer is Always Dead" (Russia)
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM = "Swim Quietly, Larry" (Sweden)       

-NEW YORK POST

UNABASHED PLUG OF THE MONTH:

Check out samples of my books:
http://www.allenklein.com/books.htm
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

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Friday, April 15, 2016



"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
        

www.allenklein.com

APRIL 2016

TAX DAY THOUGHTS OF THE MONTH:
A billion here, a billion there—pretty soon it adds up to real money.

-Everett Dirksen

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

-Jackie Mason

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

-Anonymous

WORD OF THE MONTH: (from the classroom)
Q: Use the word congenial in a sentence.
A: When you leave the gravy out too long, it congenials.

-Richard Benson in F in Exams

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:

Whenever you're having a bad day, think of the guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.
-Manda Likewine

 

EXCITING NEWS OF THE MONTH:

If you live in Northern California, come and hear my TEDx talk in person. Info & registration here:
http://bit.ly/1Y9cuBJ
http://bit.ly/1Y9cuBJ
 http://bit.ly/1Y9cuBJ
http://bit.ly/1Y9cuBJ
http://bit.ly/1Y9cuBJ

If you don't, I'll let you know when it will be on YouTube.
and
Speaking of YouTube, you can watch my reinvention story now:
https://youtu.be/jkIMkWOJi2I
Copyright © 2016 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San Francisco, CA 94117

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