Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Mid-Month Mirth Memo; November 2017


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

NOVEMBER 2017 

PUN OF THE MONTH:                                                    Me and my buddies at the gun club often go to the cheese shop just to shoot the Bries.

                                                        -mirror.co.uk

FACEBOOK FUNNIES OF THE MONTH:

- My friend just got crushed by a pile of books. He’s only got his shelf to blame.

- Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

- A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

-Kelly Epperson Simmons

ADVICE OF THE MONTH:

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out. It could spell disaster.
-rd.com
*****
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FUN & FUNNY GIFTS OF THE MONTH:

Immortalize Your Pet: https://petvignettes.com/

   The Experience Tube: https://www.experiencetube.com/


Grow Down: https://tinyurl.com/ycg6jfm5
Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
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Monday, October 16, 2017


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

OCTOBER 2017 

COURT CONVERSATIONS OF THE MONTH:                                  

ATTORNEY: ALL of your responses MUST be oral. OK? What school did you attend?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
                                                                        -From the Internet

FACEBOOK FUNNIES OF THE MONTH:

Statistically…. 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.
-Brian Allison

Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam.
-Rhonda Schar

There was a big fight at a fish restaurant. Three fish got battered.
-Paula Morand


 
SIGN OF THE MONTH:
"Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
 
*****
 
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*****


HAPPINESS BLOG OF THE MONTH:
https://bottomlineinc.com/blogs/60-seconds-of-happy/let-yourself-be-happy

Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Friday, September 15, 2017

MidMonth Mirth Memo, September 2017 SPECIAL EDITION


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

SEPTEMBER 2017 
***Special Edition***

To celebrate the publication of 
SECRETS KIDS KNOW...THAT ADULTS OUGHTA LEARN, 
this edition of the MidMonth Mirth Memo 
focuses on some funny stuff from the book. Enjoy!


KIDS TEACH US ABOUT CREATIVITY:
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving farther along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note: “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.” 


KIDS TEACH US ABOUT BEING KIND:
A teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” With-out missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

KIDS TEACH US THAT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE:
One day this woman’s five-year-old daughter told her that she wanted to be a nurse when she grew up.


“A nurse!” I said. “Listen, honey, just because you are a female doesn’t mean you have to become a nurse. Females can also be lawyers, doctors, surgeons, company presidents or even President of the United States. You can be anything you want!”

She glanced at me with a puzzled look.

“Anything at all?” she said. Then she thought about it for a while and replied, perhaps thinking about our recent trip to the zoo,

“All right then, I’ll be a camel.”
*****

FUN BOOK TRAILER: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEdB7JcxV-E

SECRETS KIDS KNOW is available in:
Paperback, e-book or Audio CD at
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
IndieBound
iTunes
GooglePlay
Kobo,
and,
Everywhere print/e-books are sold,
or
http://www.allenklein.com/books.htm
 ENRICH YOUR LIFE BY VIEWING IT THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD



Subscribe to the Mirth Memo: https://tinyurl.com/yb9939v7
Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved. 
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Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Living, Losing, and Laughing: GOOD NEWS STORY #1

Living, Losing, and Laughing: GOOD NEWS STORY #1: Man Skips Job Interview to Rescue Victim USA Today had a story about a man, Aaron Tucker of Bridgeport, Conn, who was on his way to a...

GOOD NEWS STORY #1


Man Skips Job Interview to Rescue Victim

USA Today had a story about a man, Aaron Tucker of Bridgeport, Conn, who was on his way to a job interview.  Before he could get to his destination, he jumped off a city bus in order to help a car-crash victim.

In the mangled car, that was gushing smoke, a man was covered with blood. As flames started to engulf the car, Tucker pulled the man out. He used a shirt he was given at the halfway house, where he was staying, to keep the man’s head from continuing to bleed.  


Since the incident job offers have been flooding in and a GoFundMe account has raised over $50,000 for Tucker and his family.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

MidMonth Mirth Memo, July 2017


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare



The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

JULY 2017


FUNNIES FOUND ON FACEBOOK:

Have you noticed how expensive balloons are these days?
A true example of inflation.

-Karl W. Palachu

Please don’t accept any friend requests from Lizzie Borden. She is a known hacker.
-Mark Sanborn

QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH:

What did one flag say to another flag?
Nothing. It just waved.

How come there are no knock-knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings.

What was the patriots' favorite food in the Revolutionary War?

Chicken catch-a-Tory!
-AARP Bulletin


JOKE OF THE MONTH:Tech support: Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer:  I don't have a 'P'.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support:  'P'.....on your  keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

*****

BLOG OF THE MONTH: 
"5 Steps to Create the Happiness You Want"
Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved. 
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Monday, May 15, 2017

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, May 2017


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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View it in your browser.
 

The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com

MAY 2017


FUNNY FOUND ON FACEBOOK THIS MONTH:
My neighbor had the nerve to ring my doorbell at 2:30am.
Can you believe it, 2:30am?
Lucky I was still up playing my bagpipes. 
-Steve Wilson
 
NEW WORD OF THE MONTH:
Craptacular (adjective): Remarkably poor or disappointing.
"This restaurant has 
the most craptacular food I've ever eaten."

Speaking of restaurants, here are some REAL RESTAURANT REVIEWS:
(from Zagat)
"'Breaking bread' should not mean you have to use the side of the table."
"The only way the tables could be closer together would be to stack them."
"The duck was tired, tough, and took 90 minutes to arrive. It must have had a long flight."


QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:
"When I look at the internet, I feel the same as when I'm walking through Coney Island. It's like carnival barkers, and they all sit out there and go, 'Come on in here and see a three-legged man!' So you walk in and it's a guy with a crutch."
-Jon Stewart
 
*****

BOOKS OF THE MONTH: 
STEP ONE:    Go here... https://tinyurl.com/nx6696d
STEP TWO:   Scroll down & select one, or more, books written by Allen Klein.
STEP THREE: Check out.
Copyright © 2017 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Email Marketing Powered by MailChimp