Friday, June 15, 2018

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, June 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                JUNE 2018                                            

FATHER'S DAY FUNNY OF THE MONTH:                                                                              
Dear Dad,

$chool i$ great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card. I would love to hear from you $oon.
Love, Your $on


Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgrphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student like you busy. Do Not forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad


QUESTION OF THE MONTH: 
Q: Why did Karl Marx write in all lower case? 

A: He hated capitalism.

 
AEROBIC EXERCISE OF THE MONTH:
Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend our arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. 


After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. 

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag. 
 


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AUDIO BOOK OF THE MONTH:
 
WORKLAUGHS: 
Quips, Quotes and Anecdotes about Making a Buck 
WorkLaughs is full of hilarious and witty anecdotes about making a living. Comedians and others explore the funny side of many aspects of the workplace - including going on a job interview, sitting through meetings, calling in sick, dealing with the boss, retiring, and much more.
Copyright © 2018 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
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Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Tuesday, May 15, 2018

MidMonth Mirth Memo, May 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                MAY 2018                                            

PLAY-ON-WORDS OF THE MONTH:                                                                 
- Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- I'm reading a book about gravity. I just can't put it down.

                                          -New York Times lexophile competition

QUESTION OF THE MONTH: 
Q: Why do people hate elevator music?
A: Because at first it's uplifting, but in the end it always brings you down.

 

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:"I wish there was a button on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They've got one called 'brightness,' but it doesn't work, does it?"
-Gallagher


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BOOK OF THE MONTH:
Mom's day is over but you can still honor her with a book that keeps on giving all year long.

MOM'S THE WORD: 
THE WIT, WISDOM AND WONDER OF MOTHERHOOD

https://tinyurl.com/ycbu9j3f


 
Copyright © 2018 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Monday, April 16, 2018

Mid-Month Mirth Memo, April 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                APRIL 2018

                       HAPPY TAX TIME                                            

JOKE OF THE MONTH:                                                                 
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we talk about our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."                  "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
 

QUESTION OF THE MONTH: 
Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

 

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:"Because of a holiday, the deadline for taxes this year is April 17, so you have three extra days to dig through restaurant dumpsters for receipts."
-Jimmy Kimmel


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BOOK OF THE MONTH:
Did you know that April is National Humor Month?
Celebrate by reading

THE HEALING POWER OF HUMOR: 
Techniques for Getting through
Loss, Setbacks, Upsets, Disappointments, Difficulties, Trials, Tribulations, and All That Not-So-Funny Stuff


https://tinyurl.com/y8a7urrm
Copyright © 2018 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Friday, March 16, 2018

MidMonrh Mirth Memo: March, 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


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The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                MARCH 2018                                             

JOKE OF THE MONTH:                                                                 
She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said: "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help.

Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off his cycle and asked if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car and I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure." He walked over the car, and in less than a minute the door was open. She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank you God for sending me such a very nice man."

The man heard her pray and replied, "Lady, I'm not a nice man. I just got out of prison yesterday. I was there for car theft."

The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh,thank God! You even sent me a professional."


PUN OF THE MONTH: 
Did you hear about the farmer who was shooting sheep out of a cannon?
It was the sheep herd around the world.

 

 
AGING THOUGHT OF THE MONTH:"I decided to stop calling the bathroom 'John' and renamed it 'Jim'. I feel so much better saying, 'I went to the Jim this morning.'"


BLOG OF THE MONTH: 
 
"My All-Time Favorite Sayings About Happiness"
https://tinyurl.com/yc8rolet
 

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BOOK OF THE MONTH:
In honor of International Mirth Month

L.A.U.G.H.:
Using Humor and Play to Help Clients Cope with 
Stress, Anger, Frustration and more.
 

Includes Reproducible Book and CD 
https://tinyurl.com/y9muq6l5

 
Copyright © 2018 Allen Klein, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you requested the MidMonth Mirth Memo either by email or in Allen Klein's presentation.
Our mailing address is:
Allen Klein
World's Only "Jollytologist"
San FranciscoCA 94117

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Thursday, February 15, 2018

MidMonth Mirth Memo, February 2018


"Prepare for mirth, for mirth becomes a feast."

-William Shakespeare


The Mid-Month Mirth Memo is a short amusing tidbit to brighten middle of the month monotony. It is brought to you by best-selling author, award-winning speaker,
"Jollytologist" ® Allen Klein
         

www.allenklein.com
 

                                FEBRUARY 2018                                             

JOKE OF THE MONTH:                                                                 
The old man awkwardly sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The old man didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly, then asked, "All right, buddy, what's your name?"
"Fred," the old man moaned.
"Where you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.
With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied;
"The balcony".


DIALOGUE OF THE MONTH: 
MARY: Were you surprised to find out that you were color-blind?              FRANK: I'll say! The diagnosis came completely out of the yellow.

 

QUOTATION OF THE MONTH:                                                    "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
                                         -Comedian, Steven Wright


BOOK OF THE MONTH: 
WORDS OF LOVE
Quotations from the Heart

Available in paperback, Kindle, or audio.  
https://tinyurl.com/ybyuaxs7
 

WORDS OF LOVE is filled with best things ever said on matters of the heart.
A veritable book of love, this collection of over 500 bons mots features the
wit, wisdom and insight of everyone from Sophocles to Cher.

This volume of tender quotes and upbeat witticisms reminds us daily of our most powerful emotion.
These words will touch your heart, bring a smile to your face and make you want to share the love.
  



BLOG OF THE MONTH: 
"Five Things Kids Can Teach Us About Being Happy"
https://bottomlineinc.com/blogs/60-seconds-of-happy/five-things-kids-can-teach-us-about-being-happy





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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Top Ten Quotations about What Love Is



Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.
Marianne Williamson

Love is an energy—it can neither be created nor destroyed.
It just is and always will be, giving meaning to life and direction to goodness. . . .  Love will never die
Bryce Courtney

Without love our life is…a ship without a rudder . . .
like a body without a soul.
Sholom Aleichem

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
Eva Gabor

Love is not blind—it sees more, not less. But because it sees more,
it is willing to see less.
Julius Gorden

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open, and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker

Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love
you will find that you are left holding only yourself.
Leo Buscaglia

Love is a fire.  But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
Judith Viorst

Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary,
yet no one can agree on what it is. 
Diane Ackerman